Troy parishioner forms new small group to support women facing infertility

St. Anastasia parishioner Theresa Mineau hopes to build supportive community for those facing an often isolating experience

TROY — A new small group for women facing infertility will begin meeting at St. Anastasia Parish in Troy this September, allowing women walking what is often an isolating journey to join together in community.

Based on a program created by the peer support ministry Springs in the Desert, the new small group is being launched thanks to the efforts of Theresa Mineau, a St. Anastasia parishioner whose own experience of infertility left her looking for more resources and peer support.

Mineau, 30, who married her husband Jacob in 2020, said she began searching for communities and Catholic-led support groups, but found few.

“For me, especially, infertility is such an isolating type of experience, and I think so many people suffer in silence,” Mineau explained to Detroit Catholic. “Because people don't talk about it a lot, it can feel so isolating, and sometimes it can feel like you are the only one going through it. My faith has always been such a big part of my life, so I have really turned to God during this time of waiting."

Mineau said while there is an increasing awareness of the struggle of infertility, there is still a gap in resources, even within the Church. While many parishes offer groups for miscarriage support, it's rare to find a group specifically geared toward those struggling with infertility, Mineau said.

"I was going to church and finding lots of comfort in going to Mass and all of that, so I was really looking for that community and connection for other women who were going through the same thing,” Mineau said.

In early 2024, she discovered Springs in the Desert, a national infertility support ministry that offers resources including a podcast, blog posts and, more recently, small groups.

“It really caught my eye that they had small groups — I was like, ‘Oh, this is exactly what I was looking for,’” Mineau said. “At the time, I very much wanted to join a group, but I didn’t really have it in my mind to start my own — it is not something I originally thought I wanted to do.”

Mineau connected with the ministry’s founder, Ann Koshute, and began taking advantage of some of Springs in the Desert's resources, including pre-written bulletin announcements. Mineau shared the resources with her priest, Fr. Steve Wertanen, and began putting announcements about Springs in the Desert in the parish newsletter.

“That’s where everything started,” Mineau said. “We also put in a specific Mother’s Day (ad) as well, which I was really proud of being able to do. I know Mother’s Day is a hard day for those who are struggling with infertility and have gone through loss, so just to have that little announcement, hopefully at least one other woman will see this and say, ‘OK, I am not alone. There are other people out there, and the church sees me, and they know that this is a struggle.’”

As time went by, Mineau began to feel “a pull” to do more, as she still longed for community and connection. She had an opportunity to share her story and the Springs in the Desert ministry with St. Anastasia's other resident priest, Fr. Colin Fricke.

Fr. Fricke was open to the idea of a small group, an after receiving a thumbs-up from the parish council, Mineau has been on a mission to get the word out to women in her parish and in other local parishes, inviting them to join.

The small group is set to have its first meeting in September and will meet at least eight times, Mineau said. Each meeting will begin and end in prayer and will be a confidential, private time for women to tell their stories and discuss their experiences.

Mineau said she wants the group to be flexible to meet the needs of women.

Being vulnerable and public about the experience of infertility can be scary, Mineau said, but she knows she is not the only one walking with infertility and experiencing the isolation it brings.

“There are lots of young families with children, and me and my husband continue to come to church alone. (We wonder), ‘Do people even know?’” Mineau said. “How many other couples, how many other people are feeling the same way coming to church, or even aren’t coming to church right now because of that feeling?”

Mineau is hopeful the group can be a healing experience for those who might feel they've been forgotten or for whom the experience of parish life without children has been painful.

It’s easy to struggle with identity while going through infertility, Mineau said.

“I have always wanted to be a mother,” Mineau said. “When there is so much unknown, you wonder, ‘Who am I now? What am I supposed to be?’ I have wrestled with that a lot and have asked God to just show me, ‘What do you want me to do with my time while I’m waiting?'”

Mineau believes the Holy Spirit led her to Springs in the Desert and placed the desire and push within her to start the group.

“I do not consider myself an outgoing person. I am more of an introvert, so it has been a big thing for me to come out and not only start this group but to share my story with everyone," Mineau said. “But I really hope this reaches women who are feeling that isolation and looking for that community, because I know I am not the only one. I hope they find this group and that some great friendships are formed as well.”

Theresa Mineau can be reached at [email protected] for inquiries about the small group.