As the number of adults caring for aging and disabled loved ones increases, experts worry about the unseen toll on families
LAKE ORION — According to the National Alliance for Caregiving, there are more than 53 million family caregivers in the United States. And that number is only growing.
As more and more adults are being called to care for aging and disabled loved ones, the burdens and stresses that come along with being a caregiver can be isolating, causing an increasing need for resources and emotional support.
To address this need, a growing number of southeast Michigan parishes and churches are hosting caregiver support groups to help parishioners and family members connect with experts and other caregivers going through similar experiences.
When Helen Swanson and her son, Tim, moved to Michigan, the caregiver support group at Christ the Redeemer Parish in Lake Orion was a blessing, she said. Swanson cares for Tim, 49, who has Down syndrome in addition to vision and hearing problems.
Swanson said the announcement of the caregiver support group in her parish bulletin lifted her spirits.
“I need that group for my well-being,” Swanson told Detroit Catholic. “I need it to connect with other people who were going through the same thing. I need that support.”
Swanson started attending the group in 2019 before the COVID-19 outbreak, and stuck with it through Zoom until the group resumed meeting in person. Though many of those in the group care for parents or spouses, the similarities in caregiving needs and access to resources remain the same, she said.
One of the biggest benefits to meeting with other family members caring for loved ones are the ideas, Swanson said. Often, group members can give valuable advice on practical topics, as well as spiritual or emotional ones.
“There will be more rough patches in the future, and I may need to develop alternatives,” Swanson said.
Micheline Sommers, a geriatric mental health therapist and a parishioner at St. Irenaeus Parish in Rochester, said the need for caregiver support will only increase as the general population ages, especially with families having fewer children on average.
“There is an incredible need for this,” Sommers said. “People feel like they are alone in the world to care for this person.”
Sommers is part of the mental health ministry in her Family of Parishes, which also includes St. Mary of the Hills and St. Andrew parishes in Rochester.
“The group is greatly appreciated, and they always learn about new resources,” Sommers said. “As a full-time caregiver, you might not have the time to research.”
What began as a Family of Parishes discussion about supporting people with mental disabilities evolved into a caregiver support group as many parishioners were caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s, Sommers said.
As a professional, While Sommers is familiar with the struggles of a caregiver from her professional perspective, she also has been a caregiver herself, caring for a mother who had Alzheimer's and a husband with cancer.
“(Caregivers) really appreciate (the support and camaraderie with other caregivers), and they get so much from others who share their stories, and they don’t feel alone,” Sommers said.
Sommers facilitates the group, which meets at St. Irenaeus for up to an hour and a half at various times of the year. Even though there is a need, the groups are usually small “because the people who want to come can’t leave their loved one alone.”
She is hoping that will change in the future.
“I would like to see an activity associated with the meetings so the loved one could be in the next room doing an activity,” Sommers said.
Karen Swietlik, director of evangelical charity at Christ the Redeemer, said leaders at the Lake Orion parish realized there were a significant number of parishioners who were caring for their spouses and other loved ones, either full-time or part-time.
“We decided we would like to offer a group so they could have other parishioners that could support them,” Swietlik said.
The support group at Christ the Redeemer occasionally hosts speakers or others who offer resources and support. That group currently meets once a month.
“People said they were very grateful and that it was very important because they needed that break,” Swietlik said.
In addition to its caregiver support group, Christ the Redeemer also has Stephen Ministers, who provide one-on-one support to parishioners who are experiencing a crisis. It was through local Stephens Ministers that the need for the caregiver support group emerged.
Mark Mancinotti, a parishioner at St. Mary of the Hills in Rochester, has been a Stephen Minister for 10 years and has seen the need for caregiver support, noting he assists as a part-time caregiver to two individuals through his ministry.
Mancinotti approaches the subject with personal understanding as his own wife was a full-time caregiver to him after an accident.
Mancinotti said he has seen “caregiver burnout” and said it's critical for those in caregiver roles to receive the care they need, too.
“I was going through that and watched how much my wife helped me, and I realized that I wanted to help someone else going through a mental or physical crisis in their life,” he explained.
