Deacon David Drysdale of St. Joseph Parish in Trenton followed a unique path in his discernment as a permanent deacon, one that involved discipline, forgiveness and martial arts icon Bruce Lee. Here he holds a portrait of himself painted by one of his Tae Kwon Do students. (Dan Meloy | The Michigan Catholic)For Trenton deacon, forgiveness was key to overcoming pain of family estrangement
TRENTON — While every vocation discernment story is different, most tend to have similar themes: a moment of struggle, a time for reflection and, most importantly, a deep calling from the Lord. But not many discernment stories involve Tae Kwon Do icon Bruce Lee.
For Deacon David Drysdale, though, it couldn’t have happened any other way.
“In 1971, Bruce Lee inspired me to get into Tae Kwon Do. I saw ‘Enter the Dragon,’ and the minute I saw it, I wanted to get into martial arts,” Drysdale told The Michigan Catholic.
Drysdale signed up for a lifetime membership to a Tae Kwon Do school, and from there he began the journey of a lifetime into the ancient Korean martial art, which translates into “Way of the hand and foot.”
It was through Tae Kwon Do that Deacon Drysdale found discipline, self-restraint and ultimately, his wife, Joan Marie.
“My wife is a sixth-degree black belt, and we met through a martial arts class in 1973 when she was watching a class,” Drysdale said. “I had an eye on her the minute she walked in.”
Deacon David Drysdale and his wife, Joan Marie, are seen in their Tae Kwon Do school in this family photo. Deacon Drysdale said his wife was instrumental in his decision to return to the Church — and ultimately become a deacon in 2015 — after a decade away. (Dan Meloy | The Michigan Catholic)The two married and since have had four children and nine grandchildren.
The couple continued to practice Tae Kwon Do together, eventually opening their own school.
“Not all instructors get into family reconciliatory, but we approached our school as a husband-and-wife-run school, where we brought our Catholic faith into the school,” Deacon Drysdale said. “Then we had students who were looking for help in their problems.”
The Christian focus behind the Drysdale school was unique, but it also attracted students who were Jewish, of another faith group or no particular faith at all.
“The big thing Tae Kwon Do teaches is patience and listening, those are key,” Deacon Drysdale said. “It also teaches how not to be afraid to take a stance, to encourage others, instill confidence in yourself, but not be arrogant. To be tenacious and humble at the same time.”
Deacon Drysdale said the lessons from Tae Kwon Do are compatible with Catholicism, and those lessons were reinforced during what he called a “dark time” in his faith life.
In 1999, Deacon Drysdale and his wife took on extra responsibilities in raising one of their grandchildren, and he developed a close bond with his grandson. However, his son and girlfriend grew estranged, and told Deacon Drysdale he could no longer see his grandson.
Angry, he left the Church for a period of time, unable to forgive his son or seek solace in others.
“I withdrew from the Church for a period of time, about 10 years,” Deacon Drysdale said. “Then I started coming back, but I had lots of anger, resentment.”
One year, the future deacon and his wife went to St. Mary Parish in Rockwood for Divine Mercy Sunday, and at his wife’s insistence, both were in line for confession as 3 o’clock, the Hour of Mercy, approached.
With time running short before Mass was to begin, Deacon Drysdale, already skeptical of confession, felt confident the priest would not have time to get to him.
But as his wife’s turn was about to begin, she pulled a move that rivaled one on the Tae Kwon Do mat, stepping out of line so her husband, the reluctant repentant, would be the final confession before Mass began.
“All of all sudden I was up next, the last one before Mass started,” Deacon Drysdale said. “I had my confession, and it was a good confession. After confession, I said, ‘Father, I can’t forgive my son.’ Then Father said, until I forgive my son, I should never pray the Our Father.”
That confession led Deacon Drysdale to a period of reflection. He grew to forgive his son, and himself, for all the anger he let build up inside him. But an even greater revelation came later, one his wife was apparently expecting.
“She was washing the dishes, when I told her to stop because I had to tell her something,” Deacon Drysdale said. “She said she couldn’t right now, but I insisted it was important. She kept washing the dishes and said, ‘I know what you’re going to say, you want to become a deacon.’”
In 2009, Deacon Drysdale began taking courses at Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit, before being ordained in 2015.
During the start of his new ministry at St. Joseph Parish in Trenton, Deacon Drysdale has drawn upon his time as a Tae Kwon Do instructor to help families in need of counsel, where he says his past experiences help him minister to people going through same struggles of family and faith.
“When I started in the martial arts, I had a goal to become a seventh-degree master instructor and have my own school, and I did that,” Deacon Drysdale said. “Nothing happened that deterred me from that goal. It’s the same thing with being a deacon, using all the gifts He’s given me to achieve all that I have for His glory; it’s all for Him.”
Deacon Drysdale’s journey of discernment was the only way it could be, the way it was meant to be.
It was a journey that meant answering the call. Answering the call to become a deacon, answering the call to forgive his son and himself, answering the call to marry his wife.
And it all began with answering the call to take up the martial arts, coming from Bruce Lee.
