Detroit — It isn’t something everyone wants to admit, but not all marriages end in happily ever after.

As Pope Francis and his fellow bishops discuss the role divorced Catholics can play in the Church, many separated and divorced Catholics in the Detroit area are dealing with the same issues on a personal level.

While the Church isn’t going to change its doctrine in regards to marriage, divorce and remarrying without obtaining an annulment, Pope Francis is asking the bishops to consider ways to welcome divorced and separated Catholics into the Church in the spirit of love, forgiveness and the upcoming Jubilee Year of Mercy.

Locally, Bethany of Southeastern Michigan ministers to divorced and separated Catholics, building a community of support, fellowship and faith for those who want to adhere to Church teachings.

“Bethany of Southeast Michigan is a nonprofit that provides spiritual, social and educational support to single, divorced and remarried Catholics and Christians,” said Doug Petz, a parishioner at St. Andrew Parish in Rochester and president of Bethany of Rochester.

“Bethany was a house where Jesus could go with friends and relax,” Petz said. “This started out as a support group for single, divorced and separated Catholics, primarily hurting from the effects of divorce.”

Petz and other Bethany members feel their work is an important ministry because Catholics whose marriages don’t work out still feel they have something to contribute to the Church.

“There is a great need for this type of ministry,” Petz said. “It’s a sad time for everyone involved when a marriage is failing. This divorce recovery program is about people recovering from the hurt and pain. It covers being a single person again, dealing with relations with children, spouses and annulments.

“We want people to remain Catholic and remain in the Church. We want them to get back to being social people.”

The volunteers at Bethany recognize it can be hard for a committed Catholic to re-engage in the social scene after being married, especially if the scene has people who don’t recognize Catholic values and morality.

In addition to being a divorce recovery program, Bethany hosts social events and gatherings for separated Catholics to meet other like-minded people who are going through similar experiences.

“Bethany has really helped me after my marriage; I don’t truly know what I would do if I didn’t have this strong group of friends,” said Judy Murray of Our Lady of the Angels Parish in Taylor.

Murray said the biggest thing for divorced people to do is stay active and social in a group that is accepting of the Catholic faith.

“I can’t say enough good stuff about Bethany,” Murray said. “Our group is getting older now, so we don’t do as much divorce recovery; we kind of have turned into a social club. Now we have younger Catholics who don’t know where to go; I wish there was a singles group for younger people.”

Last November, Bethany volunteers began partnering with Catholic Charities of Southeast Michigan to provide a divorce recovery program. In January, Catholic Charities and Bethany hosted support groups for divorced Catholics at 12 different locations throughout the archdiocese.

“We know many Catholics are separated or divorced, and there is a great need for healing,” said Joyce Hyttinen, director of Christian service and health care ministries at Catholic Charities of Southeast Michigan. “This is one way to reach out to Catholics who are hesitant to come forward, to let them know they will not be turned away by their Church.”

Catholic Charities hosts a 12-weeek program in collaboration with the Archdiocese of Detroit, during which separated Catholics meet, watch a DVD about a certain topic regarding divorced people, and hold a discussion about the topic and issues people are facing.

The support groups are intended to be instructional and healing, showing separated Catholics they can adhere to the teachings of the Church, even after a difficult period like a divorce.

“Divorce is like a scar, it heals, but it never goes away,” Petz said. “People need to know there are certain things they need to do if they want to get an annulment with the Church. They need to know they can still have a relationship with the Church.”

Petz acknowledged the “misconception” that divorced Catholics are automatically cut off from Communion, saying it depends on the person’s individual situation — such as whether a second marriage exists without an annulment — and relationship with the Church.

“This all goes back to what the pope says, how we can welcome people back into the faith,” Petz said. “This is something really important to discuss.”

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Ministry to divorced

Visit www.aod.org/being-catholic/marriage-and-family/separation-and-divorce and www.bethanyofsoutheasternmichigan.org to learn about ministries for divorced and separated Catholics in the Archdiocese of Detroit.