Addiction can be overcome, says Catholic author and speaker; urges frequent confession, online help communities 

DETROIT — Matt Fradd said he loves catching Uber drivers off guard when they ask him how he makes a living.

Fradd, the internationally known Catholic speaker and host of the ever-popular “Pints with Aquinas” podcast, spoke with a group of young people at Wayne State University on Nov. 20 during a two-day swing through Metro Detroit.

“I love being with the Uber driver when they ask what I do, and I say, ‘I talk about porn,’” Fradd joked to students and guests at the university’s student center. “It’s a tremendous joy, walking with people who struggle with porn, women and men, as well as sex-trafficked victims, which porn produces. We are now seeing a social shift that pornography is bad.”

Fradd's talk, “7 Myths About Porn,” was the first of three presentations the author and speaker gave this week, including a Nov. 21 event with students at Bishop Foley High School in Madison Heights and a Theology on Tap event — “7 Reasons the World Needs Thomas Aquinas” — at St. Anastasia Parish in Troy.

The events were sponsored by the Archdiocese of Detroit’s Office of Young Adult and Campus Ministry, allowing local Catholics to meet Fradd, who specializes in ministry to those suffering with pornography addiction. 

“Some say only religious people are against pornography,” Fradd said at Wayne State. “But the problem with porn isn’t that it shows too much; it doesn’t show enough. Sex is good. The problem with porn isn’t nudity; the body is an expression of God’s creation. The reason porn is bad is that it is like death; it separates the human soul from the body.”

Fradd added studies have shown that porn can become a true addiction, just like cigarettes or drug use. 

“Studies come out saying it creates an addiction, and the more we consume porn, the more our brains shrink,” Fradd said. “We are hurting ourselves.”

Pornography is as harmful to the viewer as it is to those on screen, Fradd said, adding the short video a person watches is just a small window into a world that is often misleading and violent.

“We hear stories, that are overly predictable, reoccurring, that these people we look at in porn are legitimately sex slaves,” Fradd said. 

Fradd detailed his own experience and struggles with porn, how he got help, and why he has made it his mission to discuss pornography and its dangers. He also introduced his online course, STRIVE 21, a free resource for men who struggle with porn addiction, saying a women’s course is being developed for 2020.

While pornography can become an addition, Fradd rejected the idea that the addiction cannot be overcome. 

“You may think you can never be free of this. I know, because I was there,” Fradd said. “But we don’t understand how much God loves us, how much He forgives us. I know what it is like to fall for the same sin, over and over again. When we think like that, we begin to make God in our image. But there is something Pope Francis says: ‘God doesn’t tire of forgiveness; we tire of asking for forgiveness.’”

Speaking to Detroit Catholic after his talk, Fradd said he's spoken often with atheists and agnostic friends who also recognize the dangers and snares of pornography on the human condition.

“There is a lot of good evidence coming out of academy as to how pornography is detrimental to the individual consumer and how it affects our society,” Fradd said. “I tend to lead with the science and conclude with the moral argument. I find people are much more inclined to my message, especially millennials, that way.”

As far as when parents should address the issues surrounding pornography with their children, Fradd suggested the earlier the better, given the near-ubiquitous technology to which children are exposed even at a young age.

“Six is usually the age when children have some access to some type of technology, so we should be active, more active than the porn sites are,” Fradd said. “It makes sense that parents are scared, but you can talk to your kid in an age-appropriate way about pornography.” 

Fradd followed his Wayne State talk with a talk at Bishop Foley about pornography and how living without porn is a possibility.  On Nov. 21, Fradd was the featured speaker for Theology on Tap series, speaking to young adults on Thomas Aquinas, the patron of his “Pints with Aquinas” podcast, speaking on “7 Reasons the World Needs Thomas Aquinas.”

Fradd linked his talk about pornography with his talk the next day at St. Anastasia, which focused on the logic and faith of St. Thomas Aquinas. 

“Thomas Aquinas helped us bridge the gap between faith and reason, realizing the two aren’t at odds with each other, but in harmony,” Fradd said. “We shouldn’t, as people of faith, be afraid of science and reason. Because the truth behind both comes from the same place.”