Free end-of-life workshops to help people to think about final preparations

Catholic Funeral and Cemetery Services partners with faith-based organizations to discuss funerals, burials, wills and wishes

DETROIT — People don’t often want to talk about death, but Catholic Funeral and Cemetery Services (CFCS) is trying to start the conversation.

Along with the Archdiocese of Detroit and various Catholic partners in the area, Catholic Funeral and Cemetery Services is hosting 13 end-of-life planning workshops throughout the area, covering topics ranging from planning a funeral to making sure one’s assets are distributed property after they pass away.

Deanna Cortese, outreach director for Catholic Funeral and Cemetery Services, told Detroit Catholic that families can face up to "125 decisions" in the first 24 hours after a person passes away, including where the funeral should be held, how the body should be buried, and what to do with the deceased’s finances.

“I think one of the biggest challenges we face at the cemeteries is when a family doesn’t know their loved one’s wishes for their final disposition,” Cortese said. “For instance, did they want to be cremated? Did they want to be buried traditionally? In the ground or in a mausoleum? There are a lot of question that can come from not knowing these things ahead of time.”

The free workshops features presenters from the Archdiocese of Detroit, Catholic Funeral and Cemetery Services, the Catholic Foundation of Michigan, Alliance Catholic Credit Union, and Angela Hospice, who will walk participants through how and what needs to be addressed as families make their final plans. The workshops are meant to be a conversation starter for families.

“What people will come away with is a planning guide of everything they will need to know about what they will want to have in place,” Cortese said. “From funerals to finances to trusts and wills to long-term care, if it becomes necessary.”

Angela Moloney, president and CEO of the Catholic Foundation of Michigan, said the end-of-life planning workshops will also help families determine what steps to take and answer any questions regarding financial planning and charitable giving.

The Catholic Foundation will offer information on various topics, including endowments and designated funds, and how people can best communicate their wishes to family members on the ways and means they want to support various ministries and causes after they're gone.

“For many of us, we know the organizations we love. So we can (donate) while we’re living, and it can easily turn into an endowment when we pass," Moloney said. "It’s considered a ‘now-and-later’ fund, a great charitable tool that allows people to be generous while they are living and turn into a perpetual gift upon their passing.”

As part of the workshops, Alliance Catholic Credit Union will help families to discuss different financial decisions that need to be made as a person nears the end of life, including estate planning, wills, power of attorney and patient-advocate directives.

“The hardest hurdle is to get the conversation started,” said Andy Farnsworth, director of Catholic partnerships for Alliance Catholic Credit Union. “People don’t like to talk about the end of their life or discuss what is going to happen after they die. As Catholics, we are not scared of death; we trust in our Lord. Planning ahead of time is cooperating with and serving God, serving our loved ones, to leave them a roadmap and a legacy.”

Alliance Catholic Credit Union’s presentation will go into the differences between a trust and will, the legal proceedings that take place when assets are transferred after death and how best to care for one’s family beforehand to help them in their time of grieving.

“Family unity is helped when there is clarity in the decision-making process,” Farnsworth said. “Clarity avoids fighting in a family.”

Beyond tackling the finances, Cortese said the workshops will go over the spiritual side of death and grieving, including planning the three funeral rites every Catholic is entitled to when they die.

“One of the things we (talk about) when discussing funeral plans for families, especially if the children are no longer practicing, is that there are three rites to a Catholic burial,” Cortese said. “The first rite is the vigil, typically held the night before, and that is the time for families to come together to comfort each other, typically at the funeral home. That is the time to eulogize your loved one, not during the Holy Mass, but the night before, which surprises some people. Then we have the funeral Mass, where we gather as a community of faith and pray for our loved ones. My favorite scene at a funeral Mass is when Father is incensing the casket or urn, and the incense is rising, and all of the prayers are rising up. And finally is the rite of committal, the rite of burial at the cemetery, and that is our final goodbye.”

Understanding all the particulars surrounding a Catholic funeral and burial takes time, especially for family members who might have varying familiarity or practice of the faith.

“We find that children may not have kept up the faith practices of their parents, so some of these conversations are a little more difficult to have,” Cortese said. “But when we take time to explain to them what is happening, and better yet, when the people take time to explain what they want, the process goes a lot better. We joke, but it’s true: none of us are getting out of here alive. We’re all going to die. And it’s much less scary when we have such conversations in advance.”