(OSV News) -- Community, connectedness and consciousness are key to staying sober amid the Christmas and New Year holidays, a Catholic recovery expert told OSV News.
"One of the hallmarks of the disease of addiction is isolation. At this time of year, it's very easy, while the rest of the world is having these parties and whatnot, to be blue," said Keaton Douglas, executive director of iThirst, an initiative of the Missionary Servants of the Most Holy Trinity that helps dioceses and parishes to better serve individuals and families suffering from addiction.
Douglas said that "for people that have lived in the abyss of addiction for a long time ... there's a tendency to isolate because it's just too much" during the emotionally charged holiday season, which "for many people is not always joyful."
But, she said, "what we have learned over the last number of years is that the opposite of any sort of addiction is not sobriety. It is community and connection."
Douglas stressed that those in the early stages of substance abuse recovery should double down on prioritizing their sobriety and their relationship with God above any holiday concerns and commitments.
"It has to be their primary focus," she said.
Staying close to supportive peers during the Christmas and New Year's holiday season is crucial, Douglas said.
"One of the most important things for them to do is to remain in community," she said. "That means be with your fellows and your fellowship meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous."
Those groups "make wonderful plans for this time of year because they know exactly what this is going to be like for so many," she added. "So many of them have festivities or gatherings or just a time where people can be in community to share their experience, strength and hope."
It's never too late to "find a meeting" either in person or online, and "there's still plenty of time to find your herd," said Douglas.
Rather than wait until a moment of crisis triggers a possible relapse, "plan ahead so that you know that you can contact somebody or call somebody, and make certain that you are not isolating," Douglas said. "If you've got some numbers of folks to call, make sure you call them if you're feeling tempted."
Those feeling vulnerable amid the merrymaking should take charge of their holiday schedule, she said.
"Think about it in advance. If you know a bunch of your chums are having a party at a local eatery where there's gonna be a lot of booze, it's OK to plan something different with your sober community," Douglas said. "If everybody's having a New Year's Eve party, it's OK for you to not attend that party this year, but to be in community with other people who are sober-minded and understand where you're at because it is tempting."
Douglas said that those who have maintained their sobriety for longer periods of time may find it easier to attend holiday gatherings at which alcohol is served.
"There are many people who are in long-term recovery and that don't have that issue anymore, thanks be to God," she said. "And that's because the brain heals, the body heals. A lot of times people don't have the same physiology or psychological cravings as they move forward in recovery and are working a steady program. That's the blessing of long-term sustained recovery and working ... at a 12-step program."
As a result, "their families have their normal holiday functions with whatever they have, and our folks are absolutely fine because they have found strength in their recovery," she said. "They have found a spiritual awakening, they work a 12-step program, they have everything in front of them."
If necessary, however, people should not be afraid to make an early exit from a holiday party that becomes a bit too intense, she said.
"I have many friends that will go to a holiday gathering and then when things start to get a little bit more (rowdy) ... they have no problem just saying, 'This was a wonderful visit, and now I'm going to be with my sober community,'" said Douglas.
Families can support loved ones in recovery by making some compassionate adjustments in their holiday preparations, she said.
"I think for those families that are welcoming to their meals somebody that is in the early stages (of recovery), it's appropriate to be cognizant of that," Douglas said. "Perhaps, if it is in alignment with the family values, maybe don't imbibe as much this year, or not partake. Just be sensitive, be really aware that this is a big struggle."
While "society really does flood us with all sorts of information about alcohol and how that's kind of the norm" for social gatherings, "there are many people that don't need to imbibe anything in order to have a marvelous time," Douglas said.
Faith communities can provide strength for those in recovery and their families, said Douglas. So she recommended people "avail yourself of the wonderful Advent and Christmas tidings this time of year."
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